Vanity plates are the windows to the soul. Eyes are tricky, but these metal business cards tell you a lot about a person, for example, that this is the type of person who would pay for a vanity plate. It's hard to believe that this is still a thing people do given its semi-permanence when we live in the age of Snapchat. Sure, you can get a new one if you decide your life's catch phrase no longer applies (e.g. 1TEENMOM, NEWLYWED) but you still have to use those plates to get to the DMV before you can "delete" them.
Why pay for vanity plates when evangelizing on Twitter is transient and free? You can post and un-post and repost to your heart's contents and you are not limited to 8 characters like you are on a New York State plate. Imagine tweeting in 8 characters and then wearing that tweet for 200,000 miles...
A vanity plate application in New York State costs $60; this is on top of the 6 hours of youth lost waiting in line at the DMV. If approved, you must then pay $32.25 a year for the rest of your God given life to preserve your vanity.
If you're going to think piece your fellow drivers at a traffic light, you might as well be honest and help them understand just how far away from you they need to park.
So do us all a favor and pick something that represents who you are as a human. Not only are "HELUVSME" and "LUVMYKID" probably not true, they do nothing to help me disambiguate your brand of crazy. Remember, vanity plates are for the very public messages you would never say out loud.
Here are some ideas that are somehow still available in the great State of New York: