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Responsibilitated

Responsibilitated

[ri-spon-suh-bil-i-tey-ted]

noun, verb used with object

The clinical diagnosis of a person who has become productivity-paralyzed by the responsibilities he or she is perfectly capable of fulfilling, often in under four hours. The list of responsibilities or tasks can be work related, but can also be self-imposed, unnecessary or entirely made-up. The common theme is that the fear and avoidance of the list will occupy more time and mental energy than the actual doing of the tasks.

A human will resort to psychologically comforting but illogical solutions to try and hotwire the brain, such as: reading fake news, thinking about calling a loved one, asking a coworker about his weekend or pushing the limits on what the workplace might consider a "porn site." Another common side effect of responsibilitation is the unfounded self-diagnosis of an attention or focus related disorder; dozens of psychoanalyst appointments will be booked, cancelled and rebooked before ever returning to the task at hand.

She is being treated for responsibilitation after realizing she had unread emails but also still had to go food shopping.

There is a direct correlation between the duration of a responsibilitation episode and the number of food dehydrators purchased on Amazon.

 

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